""What is implied by the concept of a disorder? A disorder implies some contrast with order. Where is the order? Is it within individuals? And what is it about autism that disrupts it? Do most of us have more ordered minds than our autistic acquintances? Disorderly relationships with other people are presented as the core of the diagnosis of any autism spectum disorder; flawed communicating and flawed socialising are diagnostic criteria. The diagnosis implies that in any communicative/sociable situation involving an autistic individual af any age, if effective communication/socialisation does not occur, then it is because of that person's autism. Therefore, it identifies the individual as not so much a person who has problems as a person who is a problem."

Fra forordet til "Coming out Asperger"

En bog der er helt essentiel når det kommer til sociale færdigheder for mennesker indenfor det autistiske spektrum er "The unwritten rules of social relationships" af Temple Grandin og Sean Barron, bl. finder man denne liste over:

The Ten Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships

Rules are not absolutte. They are situation-based and people-based.
Not everything is equally important in the grand scheme of things.
Everyone in the world makes mistakes, it doesn't have to ruin your day.
Honesty is different than diplomacy.
Being polite is appropriate in any situation.
Not everyone who is nice to me is my friend.
People act differently in public than they do in private.
Know when you're turning people off.
"Fitting in" is often tied to looking and sounding like you fit in.
People are responsible for their own behaviour.

Hvad er sociale færdigheder?

Det kan umiddelbart virke lidt abstrakt, men i Irene Henriette Oestrichs bog "Selvværd og nye færdigheder" er der følgende bud:

Nonverbale færdigheder

færdigheder hvor sproget har mindre betydning og hvor kommunikationen bygger på kropslige signaler

Grundlæggende verbale færdigheder

eksempelvis at starte en samtale, holde den i gang og afslutte den

Emotionelle færdigheder

færdigheder, der involverer følelser.

Selvbeskyttende færdigheder

komplekse kommunikationsfærdigheder, der i høj grad er baseret på verbale færdigheder, men også på integration af færdigheder

Problemløsningsfærdigheder

ligeledes komplekse færdigheder, der drejer sig om at identificere problemer, uden at følelserne løber af med én samt at finde hensigtsmæssige løsninger i forhold til positive mål

Intime færdigheder

drejer sig om at kunne tilpasse tilnærmelse og undvigelse i forholdet til andre mennesker samt at tilfredsstille intime behov

Disse funktioner overlapper og understøtter hinanden. Bogen indeholder spørgeskemaer hvor man kan tjekke sine færdigheder indenfor de forskellige funktioner og øvelser. Bogen henvender sig til voksne og første halvdel er ikke så meget bevendt når det drejer sig om autismespektret, men sidste halvdel er derimod dejlig konkret og lige til at kaste sig ud i.

Tomkins 9 grundaffekter

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The attributes of perspective taking (PT)

Recognizing the thoughtful presence of another person
Recognizing the individuality of another person
Recognizing that another person has his or her own personal set of emotions
Recognizing and responding to the fact that another person has his or her own set of desires and motives
Recognizing that another person his or her own personality
Having an intuitive desire to learn about other's interests and personal histories
Developing and using memory of a person to facilitate and sustain interpersonal relationships, as well as create a base of understanding about that person's potential actions.
Formulating language to inquire about another person's interests
Understanding social conventions surrounding specific environments
Understanding social conventions specific to social contexts
Staying aware of the shifting internal states of the communicative partner through eye contact

fra "Inside Out: What Makes the Person with Social Cognitive Deficits Tick?" af Michelle Garcia Winner

Making (and keeping) friends